The silence

The silence has got to be the worst part of telling someone you like them. I mean gathering your courage to say such a thing in the first place is rough enough, but what really sucks is the waiting for them to respond. It's like an eternity within one minute. And it's not a happy place, it's filled with shadows and doubts and regret and just a slight sliver of hope, that helps feed the chaos swirling around to make it completely unbearable. And then when you finally get the answer, your brain just returns to that wretched millenia moment and analyzes all the things you said and how you said them, and if there was anything you should have added or said instead, a different phrasing to maybe have further helped your cause. It freaking sucks. Seriously.

Just a Little Prayer

Dear Lord,
I would much appreciate if you'd stop sending trials my way, for clearly I am not your chosen one nor do I have the patience of Job.  If I need to pledge to become a nun or a hermit in order for you to pull the corn cob out of your possible ass, don't hold your breath, I guess we'll both be in crappy situations.  I have enough trouble with the things I put on MY own plate without the helpful little bunches you throw my way.  So if you could just give me a couple months of relaxation, I'll be renewed enough so that you keep throwing me curve balls.  However the way things are heading if you don't lay off you're going to lose your play thing. It's a shame you didn't have a mother or she might have imparted the wisdom to treat your toys nicely or they'll break and you won't have them any more.

Sincerely,
A Disgruntled Skeptic.

My Dream Speech

One day, in a galaxy far away, there will be a time, where everyone is judged on character vs. what body type they have...everyone in the human race will realize that they appreciate being seen for what they have on the inside as well as/over being seen for what they have outside...they will realize that to pass up on something great just because it has a few scars and dents...the realization that those scars and dents make the thing more valuable rather than less will eventually dawn.  And when that day comes, I'll probably be dead, and from a different galaxy where that never has a hope of becoming the thought of the masses.

A rant against professors

This blog is about teachers in general (granted it doesn't really apply to those in the extremely lower grades, but in case you're thinking of a career change, well then pay attention).  I realize that you are just as busy as I am if not more so, I realize that you enjoy having a life outside of school as much as I do, and I realize that you have more to do than just teach me for an hour every couple of days.  However, if you're going to ask me to do an assignment for you, then you should give me enough time to complete it.  This means that if it's an online assignment, or the directions should be online, or if it's something I need to print off, then you should put it up the day the assignment is announced....I shouldn't have to wait all night to receive the homework so I can rush at the last minute to finish it because you didn't put it online until 12 hours before it's due.  I have to respect you in the classroom, the least you could do is respect me outside of it...that's not to much to ask...and if you can't upload the assignment in a punctual fashion THEN YOU SHOULDN'T BE ASSIGNING THE FUCKING THING IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Holy Holes

So yesterday I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I wasn't put under and it wasn't to bad. The worst thing that hurt was when they gave me the shots to numb my mouth. There was some pressure when they were pulling the lower ones out but other than that it was pretty easy going. I was shocked to see how quick they did it, they had removed all four in an hour, and one of them had needed to be cut out. The only disappointing thing is that they didn't give me dissolvable stitches, so I have to go back to have them removed...which is going to cost more dinero. I was also a little sad that I didn't get to keep my teeth, I had the perfect idea for what to do with them (I was gonna make a bracelet with them and say they were the teeth of my victims, perfect right?!).  They don't really hurt at all unless I try to make my jaw open really far. The only real problem with this that I have is that I can't eat solid food. I'm HUNGRY! And pudding doesn't really fill a person up. I'm seriously contemplating taking delicious foods like chicken and beets and other things I can't eat and making a smoothie out of it. That's how bad I want real food.

I Have the Greatest Family

So this Thursday I'm having my wisdom teeth taken out, and having all four taken out is going to cost about $1000.  I have the money to cover it but it would really empty my bank account and cause some problems for me getting my apartment for next semester at school. So, I sent my mom a text a few days ago and asked if she could just help me out a little bit.  We talked about cost and some other things and she said she'd see what she could do.  Well today she shot me a text and apparently she told my grandma about it and each of them are going to give me $500.  That means I can still get my apartment and still have some money left over. They're always there for me when I need them, and some times I don't appreciate them the way I should. It's days like today when I get support and help from them that I know I really did get a great family.

Show Your Pride

Today I went to a Gay Pride parade with a couple friends, and I saw a lot of colorful, fabulous characters there, and it made me feel like giving them a shout out.  I was really impressed with the trannies. I mean they put so much work into their looks and they spend more time trying to be girls than I do (they're weren't any girls dressed at guys but I'm sure they're quite stunning too), and they are really dedicated.  Some of them were wearing shoes with like 6" heels (which for anyone who has ever tried wearing heels bigger than 4" is a superbly amazing feat), and they were WALKING AROUND, not just sitting somewhere in the shade, but walking around out in the sun for hours like it was no big deal. Those people deserve dedication awards or something just because. Anyway there were speakers there and they were talking about how there's only three states that allow gay marriage now, and it made me feel like voicing my opinion. There's all those sayings about how gay marriage will ruin the institution of marriage, or that it's wrong to be with someone of the same sex and blah blah blah.  My thought on the institution of marriage, (and there may be a large chance that I'm wrong) is that marriage is the joining of two people who love each other and want to take care of each other making a vow in front of people.  How on Earth does the sex of the couple change that? It really doesn't, so what's the big deal? Another thought I have, is how is it wrong to be with someone you love? It shouldn't matter if it's same sex or opposite sex relationships, if you love someone then you should have the RIGHT AND PRIVILEGE of being with them until death do you part. Love is something so pure and rare that when two people have it they should be able to celebrate it without being questioned or harassed.  And finally, if straight people have the right to try to make themselves happy/miserable (which is how the joke goes about marriage) by pledging to be with someone until the day they die, then so does everyone else, because when you're straight you aren't a different species, you're still human, just like gays, bis, lesbians, and transgenders.  That'd be like saying that for whites it's acceptable to get married but black, hispanic, asian, and anyone else can't because they aren't white. It kind of makes me mad that people can't pull their heads out of their asses and realize this. I guess that's the end of my rant, and I just want to say stay fabulous to everyone out there, and keep pushing for what you deserve to have!!